The Ties That Stab
by Lipton Lee
Summary: AU. Lorelai’s brother shows up, and attempts to help the family straighten things out in his own, crazy sort of way.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Rick is mine. Everyone else is ASP's…to their misfortune…  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
Summary: AU. Lorelai's brother shows up, and attempts to help the family straighten things out in his own, crazy sort of way.  
Spoilers: Seasons 1-6  
Author's Note: Picture Rick as being Nathan Fillion. nods

**The Ties That Stab**

Richard Gilmore Junior had never been to such a bizarre dinner.

Across from him, sat his twin sister, Lorelai; he'd never seen her look so glum. Her arms were folded politely into her lap, and her eyes were set to her plate. Next to Richard were Lorelai's daughter, and his niece, Rory. She, too, looked quite depressed, though she looked to be trying to hide it. His parents, Richard Senior, and Emily, looked oblivious to the whole thing.

They had all gathered because he was in town. His mother had made a huge deal about the entire family being there.

And the two people he had looked forward to seeing the most looked completely miserable.

"Rick, will you pass the gravy, please?" Lorelai asked.

"No," Rick replied.

Everyone looked up at him.

He gathered all of the food around him, so that no one else could reach. Even Rory had a hard time getting to the food, and she was right next to him. "I'm not passing anyone anything until someone tells my why everyone looks like they've just had their puppy kicked."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Richard…stop acting like you're eight."

"Don't wanna."

Lorelai had to grin at this.

Rory tried to reach for the potatoes, but Rick blocked her, and she tried not to laugh.

"Come on," he said. "Why is everyone so miserable?"

Lorelai looked at her plate sadly again. "Ask Rory."

Rory sighed and crossed her arms. "It's Mom."

"Lorelai, just talk to Rory," Richard Senior said. "This is ridiculous."

"She started this," Lorelai snapped. "You all started this."

"Started what?" Rick asked.

"You're the one who won't talk to me!" Rory cried. "You're the one who didn't show up for my court date! Or support me!"

Lorelai got up. "I have to go. I'm really sorry, Ricky. Call me later, okay?"

Rick got to his feet as his sister did. "Lore-"

"Eat," Lorelai told him, holding up a hand. "I'm the one who doesn't belong here." With that, she rushed out of the dining room, and out the front door.

Rick stared at the spot where Lorelai formerly sat, and then turned back to the rest of his family. "So. Somebody start talking."

00000000

An hour later Rick stood staring at his parents in shock. His father was sitting at his study desk, and his mother was standing next to him.

Rick blinked. "You did what!"

"We merely took Rory off of Lorelai's hands," Richard replied. "She's making a fuss over nothing."

"A Fuss over no-" Rick cut himself off and shook his head. "You led her to believe you were going to help her, and then you turned on her!"

"Your sister isn't always right," Emily said sternly.

"For maybe the first time ever, she trusted you," Rick said harshly. "And instead of figuring out how to get Rory to go back to school, you've been turning her into a socialite snob, who can't even make her own coffee!"

"She needed a place to stay, and a job," Richard said, getting to his feet. "We gave her those things."

"It isn't your place!" Rick yelled. "In fact, that girl is an adult! It's no one's place but her own to find herself a place to live and a job!"

"We are her family!" Emily cried. "Family helps each other! Or is that something you're so far-removed from that you don't even know what it means anymore!"

Rick stared at her harshly for a long moment. "I'm leaving."

"Good!" Emily replied. "Leave!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Richard cried. "I'll have the maid pack your things!"

"I can pack my own damn things!" Rick yelled again. "I'm not some prissy, in-bred idiot who can't figure out how to do things for myself!"

"You take that back," Richard snarled.

"Not on your life," Rick glared. With that, he stormed out. He ran right into Rory, who looked terrified. He gave another glare back at the door, and then looked back down at his niece. "I suggest you get your life together before you wind up as utterly worthless as they are."

She watched him leave, and then looked to the floor.

0000000

Lorelai blinked, absolutely dumbfounded by her brother. "You aren't the pizza delivery guy."

Rick shook his head, a dark look gracing his features. "Nope."

Lorelai frowned and leaned against the doorway. "You fought with Richard and Emily."

He nodded. "I fought with Richard and Emily."

"How bad was it?" she asked, walking out of the house. She took his arm and let him to sit on the porch swing.

Rick sighed. "I called them 'prissy, inbred idiots.'"

Lorelai looked shocked. "No!"

"I did," Rick nodded. "I was so mad…Couldn't help myself."

"Name-calling never solved anything," Lorelai told him.

"It made me feel better," he replied innocently. "At least I didn't call them doody-heads."

"That may have been better," she said. "You do realize they may never speak to you again."

"Promises, promises," Rick smirked.

Lorelai frowned again and leaned back, looking at her brother again. "Did get into a fight on my account?"

"Pretty much."

She sighed. "Rick…"

"What?" he asked. "They turned on you! All three of them!"

"You yelled at Rory, too?"

"No," Rick blurted out. "I told her if she didn't get her life together, she'd be worthless like Mom and Dad."

"You called them worthless, too!"

"Not to their faces!" Rick sighed. "Why are we fighting?"

"We're not. Look, I appreciate that you're on my side here, I really do…But you can't fix this. This is between me and Rory."

"And Mom and Dad," Rick nodded.

"And it's my own fault," she said. "I asked them to get involved."

"They would have anyways, because Rory would have still gone to them," Rick said.

"So any way you look at it, I lose my kid," Lorelai snapped. "Great."

Rick stared at her. "Who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

"What?"

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore doesn't give up so easily," Rick replied. "She gets mad. She starts war. She yells, and kicks and screams until everyone knows she's right!"

She laughed bitterly. "I don't do that."

"Fourth grade," Rick snapped. "Mom took away your favorite nail polish because you made fun of her friend with the poofy hats."

Lorelai smirked. "What was her name?"

"No idea," Rick snickered. "But what did you do? You went into her closet, and stole her favorite pair of boots, and wore them in the rain."

"I was such a brat," she muttered.

"So what happened the next day," Rick asked.

"She grounded me," Lorelai smiled. "But she gave me back the nail polish."

"Exactly," Rick grinned.

Lorelai blinked. "Exactly, what? I should steal Mom's boots again and see if she'll give Rory back?"

Rick smiled and wrapped an arm around his sister. "You leave Rory to me."

She shoved him away. "Oh, no. I know that tone of voice."

"What?" he asked in innocent confusion.

"You're going to meddle."

"Maybe."

"That's a yes."

"You'd do the same."

"Which is why I know you're going to meddle," Lorelai replied. "Rick…Rory is my kid. You have to let me handle this."

"I don't see you handling anything, Lore," Rick said. "I see you hiding from her, and running every time things get too hot."

Lorelai said nothing.

"I know you two have this whole friends first, mother and daughter second thing going," Rick went on. "But it's not gonna work for this. This isn't something Rory's gonna snap out of on her own; Not if she's convinced she's doing the right thing."

"Every time I think about trying to say something I get mad, and say something completely different," Lorelai said. "She changed her cell phone number, and didn't tell me."

Rick nodded. "Let me have a shot."

She sighed. "Even if I say no, you're gonna try anyways?"

"Of course!" Rick grinned.

"I'm going to regret this."

"Nah," he replied. "Never."


	2. Bacon, Eggsand the Kitchen Sink

_The Ties That Stab pt. 2_

Luke Danes looked up as the diner's bell rang, and a tall, brunette man walked in, wearing jeans, a plain blue t-shirt and a leather jacket. "Ricky Gilmore."

Rick grinned. "I don't care if you're marrying my sister, you ever call me Ricky again, and I'm kicking you in the face."

Luke walked over and shook his hand. "How you doin?"

"Been better," Rick grimaced.

"You fought with Emily and Richard, huh?" Luke asked.

Rick raised an eyebrow. "How did you know?"

"You and Lorelai have the same grumpy face. What'll ya have?"

Rick sighed and sat down at the counter. "Coffee, cheese eggs, bacon, sausage, blueberry pancakes, cheese fries, and a side of burger."

Luke stared at him in horror. "Side of...You are her twin."

At that moment, Lorelai walked in and sat down next to Rick. "I'll have what he's

having."

"No, you won't," Luke snapped.

Lorelai smiled. "Coffee, cheese eggs, bacon, blueberry pancakes, cheese fries and

a side of burger."

"You forgot the sausage," Rick muttered.

Lorelai gasped. "How dare I!"

Luke sighed. "I can't believe I'm marrying you."

Rick gave him a weird look. "I'm not marrying you. You're too scruffy for me."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Giant mounds of food coming right up."

"Don't forget that coffee!" Rick grinned, and then shook his head. "You and Luke. I still can't believe you finally got it together."

Lorelai sighed. "Well, after the disasters of relationships I've had...it's nice to have one that works."

"It is," Rick nodded.

Lorelai gave her brother a look. "So...?"

"What?"

"Girlfriend?"

Rick smirked. "I've given up on women. I'm gay now."

Lorelai snorted. "Are not."

"Renee dumped me," Rick told her plainly.

"No!"

He nodded. "Yup. Fourth of July."

"How come?" Lorelai asked.

"She said she was bored."

"Of you?"

Rick nodded again. "Yup."

Lorelai pouted. "My poor brother!"

Rick smirked and nudged her. "It's okay. I don't need a girlfriend."

She stared at him in shock. "Oh, my god. You're single?"

"I am."

"This is the first time in ten years!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Six."

"Still!" Lorelai cried.

"I can make cheap shots, too, y'know."

She smiled. "Sorry. Change of subject. What are you doing today?"

"Coming to work with you," Rick announced.

Lorelai raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Rick nodded. "Gonna give Michel a wedgie."

"He already has one."

"Can I go scare the pants off of Sookie?"

Lorelai laughed. "Rick, you are not nineteen anymore! And don't you have a job?"

"I'm my own boss!" Rick cried. "I don't need me to go to work today!"

Lorelai sighed heavily. "Yes, I forgot, Mr. Publishing Agency doesn't need to do work anymore."

He frowned. "Now we're getting bitter? I came here to spend time with you."

Lorelai sighed again and rested her head on his shoulder. "Sorry. This whole Rory thing has me all messed up..."

Rick kissed her on the head. "You leave that to me."

"What are you gonna do?"

Rick grinned innocently as Luke set down their coffee.

Lorelai lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at him. "Richard Gilmore Junior..."

He sipped his coffee. "Don't you worry. I've got everything under control."

She kept staring at him. "That's exactly what you said when you collapsed the garage when we were thirteen."

"That was not my fault," Rick said.

Lorelai grinned. "Science experiments were not meant to be done where the jag lives."

"The jag wasn't home," Rick replied.

"The garage caved in on itself!"

Rick held out a hand in defense. "It's not a big deal."

"What isn't?" Luke asked as walked by them.

"Rick destroyed the garage when we were thirteen," Lorelai replied.

Luke blinked. "What! How!"

Lorelai snickered. "Science."

"Smooth," Luke nodded.

Rick looked scandalized. "Everyone's makin' a fuss!"

Lorelai laughed. "Mom almost killed you."

"I wasn't allowed out of my room for two weeks," Rick told Luke. "I had to be

escorted to school."

"Luckily Dad wanted a new garage anyways. So he didn't care," Lorelai finished.

Luke watched the two siblings sip their coffee together, and laugh. "Hey Rick."

Rick looked up suddenly. "What? Food?"

"It's coming up..." Luke replied. "You wanna be a groomsman?"

Rick looked surprised. "Me?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "No, the other Rick sitting in your chair."

Lorelai smiled and rested her head on Rick's shoulder again.

"Uh..Sure!" Rick replied, giving the other man a smile. "Okay!"

Luke nodded. "Good. I'm gonna go check on your food." With that, he walked

off.

Lorelai got up from her stool to follow. "Luke..."

"Yeah?" he replied, not turning around.

"You've started picking out groomsman?" she asked with a bigger smile than

before.

"I just thought I'd ask," Luke replied, walking back into the storage room.

"Do you have anyone else picked out?" Lorelai asked, still following him.

He shrugged as he took down a large jar of pickles. "I don't know…Jess,

maybe."

Lorelai's smile faded a little. "Jess…your nephew, Jess?"

Luke nodded. "Yeah."

"Bu…well…he's still alive?"

Luke snickered a little. "Yeah. He is."

"And he's…going to actually show up?"

"He's not the same kid he was," Luke told her. "He's chilled out a lot."

She sighed. "Okay."

"You don't want him in the wedding…"

"No!" Lorelai cried. "No, I'm not saying that…I'm just…surprised. I didn't

know you guys still kept in touch."

Luke nodded. "We talk every couple of weeks."

"Wow," Lorelai replied. "Well…good! That's good that you guys keep in touch…"

"You're weirded out," Luke nodded.

"I am not!" Lorelai said. "I'm not weirded out."

"You are."

"Okay, maybe a little."

"Why are we even talking about this?" Luke asked. "We don't even have a date set."

Lorelai sighed. "You're right. We'll talk about it…after we set a date." She turned to walk out of the store room, and was face-to-face with her brother.

"You don't have a date set?" Rick asked, shocked.

"We're waiting until after things with Rory get better," Lorelai explained.

"You need to set a date!" Rick cried.

"We will," Luke said.

Rick's face turned sour. "I'll be in Harford."

"What about your food?" Luke asked.

Rick stopped. "After breakfast." With that, he walked back to his seat at the counter.


	3. Chapter 3

The Ties That Stab pt. 3

Rick didn't bother knocking on the pool house door when he arrived at his parents' estate. He let himself in and looked around at the yellow and pink décor.

"Ugh…Emily still has sucky taste," he muttered. "Rory!"

When he got no reply, and she didn't come out to see what all of the fuss was about, he decided to make his way back to the bedroom. She was probably ignoring him, favoring sleep over being social.

"Come on, little one," Rick called. "Up and at 'em. We got a big day ahead of us."

Still he got no reply, so he opened the door to the bedroom wide, got a good look, and closed it again with a cry of surprise.

"Oh, god," Rick whimpered. "Okay. I'm counting to ten, and if you two aren't out here, covered, I'm coming in there, and throwing the blond out the window."

"You and what army?" the blond snapped.

"Logan!" Rory cried. She emerged from the bedroom first, wearing a t-shirt, and a pair of shorts. "Uncle Rick, what are you doing here?"

After her came the blond, Logan, in only a pair of boxer shorts, looking none too happy.

"Well, I thought I'd surprise you," he replied. "I wanted to take you out today, but I guess I walked in at a bad time."

"Gee, you think?" Logan snapped.

Rory turned to her boyfriend. "Be nice."

"Hi," Rick said, holding out a hand. "I'm Richard Gilmore the Second. You must be the little bastard who's defiling my niece."

Rory sighed. "Uncle Rick."

Rick smiled. "I think you should leave."

Logan blinked. "Now?"

Rick nodded.

"What about my clothes?"

"Well, you couldn't be bothered to put them on to walk out of the bedroom, I figure you've got no problem walking out of the pool house without them."

"But-"

"Go."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Come on, Man, I-"

"You wanna see a neat trick I picked up from Rory's grandmother?" Rick asked.

Rory's eyes widened. "Uncle Rick, don't-"

It was too late. Rick grabbed Logan by the ear and dragged him to the front door, shoving him out. "Have a nice day." He then slammed the door, and turned back to his niece. "So! Do Richard and Emily know you're using their pool house as a sex shack?"

Rory blushed. "I'm-!"

"Using their pool house to have sex with your boyfriend," Rick cut her off. "Do you remember how paranoid they are about sex?"

"This is different!" Rory cried.

"Why? Because they like you better than your mother?" Rick asked. "Because they think you can do no wrong?"

Rory said nothing.

Rick shook his head. "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You went from a responsible, intelligent person, to a college drop-out who has lots of sex in her grandparents' pool house," Rick pointed out.

"I'm taking some time off!" Rory cried. "This isn't permanent!"

Rick nodded. "It will be."

"That's not true!"

"It will be permanent if you don't start doing something with yourself," he snapped. "You will be trapped here, and you will regret it."

"That's not true!" Rory repeated. "You don't know that that's true!"

"Don't I?" Rick asked. "I've seen it, Rory! I've seen good friends of mine get caught up in this, and they never get out, because the money is too good!"

"I don't care about the money!"

Rick rolled his eyes. "How much do you think it cost your grandparents to remodel this pool house for you?"

"I don't know."

"I much do you think it costs for Emily to buy you the clothes she buys you?"

"I don't know!"

"How much do you think it costs to hold one of those stupid DAR things!"

"I don't know! I don't know, okay!"

Rick nodded. "Chances are your boyfriend doesn't, either."

She glared.

"People who never have to work for anything rarely do anything," he told her.

"I'm not good at anything anyways!" Rory cried. "So what does it matter!"

"What in the hell are you talking about!" Rick yelled. "You're smarter than most adults my age! You write like nobody's business!"

"Stop lying!" Rory cried. "I know the truth! I know!"

"Rory…"

She sniffled. "That stupid internship!"

"What internship!"

"Logan's dad, Mitchum Huntzberger, gave me an internship at one of his papers," she said, getting more upset by the second. "He told me…he told me that I'm…I don't have it."

"It?"

"It!"

Rick blinked. "You lost me."

"Whatever it takes to be a journalist, I don't have it!" she said. "And that's all I've ever wanted to do, so what now!"

He sighed deeply and took his niece's hand, guiding her to a couch and sitting her down. He kneeled down in front and took her hands. "First rule of interning: Never take one from someone who has the potential to hate your guts."

She sniffled again. "I didn't think he hated me…"

"But you weren't sure," Rick said gently. "Second rule of interning: Mitchum Huntzberger is a piece of crap."

Rory blinked at him. "You know him?"

"We're both in the publishing business, Rory," he nodded. "And he's pretty notorious for being an asshole."

She tried not to laugh. "Mom hates it when you say bad words in front of me."

"You're gonna be twenty-one," Rick grinned. "I don't think she'd mind."

Rory smiled.

"Is that the whole reason you dropped out of Yale?" he asked quietly. "Cause Huntzberger tore you down?"

She looked away.

"That's not the Rory I know," Rick said. "The Rory I know woulda stuck her tongue out at that old bastard and walked off."

"But he's been doing this for so many years!"

"He's a publisher, Rory, he's not an editor, he doesn't know what he's talking about," Rich said. "He deals with money and circulation, and marketing. He doesn't deal with the writing staff, and he wouldn't know a good piece if it smacked him on the ass."

She looked at him skeptically.

"Come on, Rory, listen to the man who has his own publishing company. You know the one who built it from the ground up?"

Rory sighed.

Rick nodded. "Come on. Why don't you get cleaned up, and I'll take you out to breakfast, okay?"

She nodded and leaned forward to hug him. "Thanks, Uncle Rick."

He hugged her back and nodded. "Go."

She got up and walked back to the bedroom, closing the door.

Rick got to his feet and pulled out his cell phone, dialing a number. "Yes, hello. I'd like to speak to Mitchum Huntzberger please? Ah, he's in a meeting. Well, please tell him that Rick Gilmore called. Yes, a message would be lovely. Please copy this down: if you ever…come near my niece again…I will rip you in two. Nope, that's it. Thank you. Bye, now." He hung up.


End file.
